so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
