I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
this just has baby written all over it
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
