This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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