i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
