So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
