Need sex. Gaining weight.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
