it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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