I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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