I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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