He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
did you just send me my own nude
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
