Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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