it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
