when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
