we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
