Moan for me like Helen Keller
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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