Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
