I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
