true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize