i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
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I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
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I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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