Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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