whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
