are you still at the devil's house?
Is it because I queefed?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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