I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize