My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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