Your mouth is God's brothel.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
