Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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