You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
