what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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