K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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