I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
