BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
