YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
