this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
