ugly people sure do ruin things
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
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I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
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i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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