Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
