gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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