Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i drank out of a bidet.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
