Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
