It's like God shit irony all over that family
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
