The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
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you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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