Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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