Rock
Scissors
Fuck
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
