Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
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And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize