I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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