wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Sext me about skeletons
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
