My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
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