Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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