You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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