i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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