I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
