I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
