worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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