I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
