what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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