I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
