You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
