He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you had me at cake vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize