So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
