It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
